Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Well, This Is Awkward

You know that embarrassing feeling you get when you bump into someone that you've been purposely avoiding for a long time? There is that shocking "oh-crap" moment that passes across your face like a shadow, which you struggle to conceal before the other realizes your horror. But they don't need to see your face to know that this is not easy for either of you. You choke back a nervous laugh and paste a smile on....a really big, painful smile. Your body wants to run, but you can't. You're stuck. So your feet do a sort of twiddle dance impatiently as your mind tries to keep up with your mouth, which seems to be spewing utter nonsense. You expound upon the weather...who the eff cares about the weather? God I sound so stupid.

What do you do with your hands? I don't what you do with your hands. Most likely they hang, as dumbfounded as you. Every move betrays you, communicates the discomfort, the shame, the need to be elsewhere. You think of far away places, dark places, underneath covers and behind closed doors. Any place else than where you are at right now. To be rid of the shame.

This is pretty much what writing in this blog feels like right now.
I've tried to avoid you, but I can't. It was bound to happen that I would step right into the universe's trap of facing this fear, of facing you.

You're a clever one, blog. Always the clever one.

Let's hope this is enough to break the ice, so we won't have to speak of this moment ever again.
At least until the next time I avoid you.

Sooo how about them clouds?

Dammit.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Oscar, I'm Grouchy




I've explained it once, and I'll explain it again:

 
 

Friday, January 28, 2011

On the Brain: Bloggers

So, apparently the theme these past few weeks here in Unkosher-land is writing posts about random things so that I don't need to do any heavy thinking on my own. Sometimes you need a break, yaknowhatImean?

Back for yet another peek into the constant mish-mosh that is my mind, it's.....

THIS WEEK ON THE BRAIN: New Favorite Addiction Blogs

I love finding new blogs - it's like getting a quick fix. (...not that I would know.) 

You spend all day sucking in the delicious fumes of humor and introspection. Getting giddy with the feeling of newness as you discover this new world of a blogger. Then fall into a lifeless lump of procrastination and lethargy at the end of the night, dreaming about all you and this writer seem to have in common, to have shared in those fleeting moments of intimate reader-dom. 

And then the next day you read the slightly disturbing comment you left on their last post, glance around your dump of an apartment, and stare into the mindless recesses of your bleary eyes asking, what the hell happened?

This, my friends, is how I spend my nights: perusing the minds of equally neurotic, imaginative oddballs like myself. And fucking loving it.


Blogs That Automatically Win 
My Emoticon Heart
  
Adventures of Bacon
You had me at bacon. I honestly don't care what else the site is about - although luckily, it is about the daily travails of a plush bacon that can only repeat, "I'm bacon". Need I say more? 


My own betta fish:
the late and great sulking Selkie.
The Junk Drawer
Kathy's humor is the junk to my trunk. I thought that would sound funny. I also thought it would make sense. Neither of which are true.
 

The Sneeze
This man is funny - the male equivalent of Allie Brosh from Hyperbole. I was particularly tickled by his Betta fish story. In all fairness, I do have a soft spot for Betta fish, but now I can't really write about mine 'cause this dude already did it better.

Was That Awkward?
Each painstakingly funny post is closed with a rating on the awkwardness. Where have you been all my life?


Bent Objects

Not only are his photos adorably hilarious, they feature food (which is an automatic plus for me), and Terry Border is an inspiration: sometimes you don't always find your craft right away. But judging from his work, the wait is definitely worth it.

Anal Sex Is Sex
Seriously, it's not what you think.
....Okay, it is.
I'm not just putting her on here because she's one of my good friends; the girl can write, and apparently she can also have lots of sex.

Fake Science
Like Billy Nye, only snarkier.

Filleosophy  
I'm not a girly girl, as you've probably noticed. (.....Okay, correction, I don't let on that I'm a girly girl even though I really do love clothes and cute things because i have some childhood tomboy-envy issues.) Fille isnt your typical gal either, but she's got everything a woman should have: snappy writing, wit, and a helluva sleek, contemporary blog design. She is the woman I aspire to be - on my normal days.


Honorable Mention

These are the blogs that are in my Google Reader Evaluation stage; I read some posts, became slightly amused, and yearned to be further titillated. And so the evaluation begins....

Check these 20-gonna-be-somethin's out. You gals have got it - now flaunt it for your unkosher lady!

Please - send me more delicious blogs!!! Nom nom nom nom nom......


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Haz a Dream

I know I've been neglecting my blogger-ly duties here for a few days (gimme a break, willya?)

So while you wait for my inspiration to return (or my laziness to recede - both are acceptable in this case), why don't you take a peek inside my dreamscapes?
(You can also access this site from my sidebar feed and the cute little tab on the top right.
Organized much?)

 

Now you know where all that imagination of mine is really hiding!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Hungarian Films Are Fun!



New review for Taxidermia up 
on my film blog, Got Film?

Read it.
Then you'll understand why it's so fun.
 

Monday, January 3, 2011

I Have Stooped to the Bloggies

I'm usually not one for tooting my own horn.
Loudly that is.
....Okay, that's also a lie. Let me rephrase:
I'm not one for tooting my own horn, albeit loudly, without the inevitable onslaught of incredible guilt that hangs over my head like a rain-sodden cloud of dread.

There, is that better?

But I shall try to chase this cloud away for once (heh, good luck), and ask that you all honor my unkosher lamentations by nominating Interrobang‽ for a 2011 Bloggies Award.


This year, I was sieged by cockroaches and reggae, enraged by the MTA, and robbed....twice. During nostalgic times (which is like, everyday), I harked back to better times, romancing over lost toys and the sarcasm of my youth. And just when I thought the year had stopped surprising me, my appendix unexpectedly peaced out.

Yes folks, it's been quite the whirlwind year. Help me start off this new one right - by grasping an intangible award as merely a reason to pat myself on the back.

But, fo' seriously now. It would be great to get the recognition for any of the categories below, and the love from all you gosh-darn spiffy readers out there.

Vote here or click on the cute little sparkly-star button on my sidebar to submit your nominations:
  • "Best Writing of a Weblog"
  • "Best Humorous Weblog"
  • "Best-Kept Secret Weblog"
  • "Weblog of the Year" (I'm really stretching here I know, but might as well go for the gold while I'm at it.)

And don't forget to vote for all your other favorite bloggers as well! We are a fragile folk, us writers, who constantly crave your affections to relieve our inner qualms. So don't leave us hanging; or we'll have to swallow our bitter tears of neglect with a gallon of Häagen-Dazs.

Thanks so much to all of you for being a loyal reader throughout this tumultuous year. And be proud to know that you are slowly rebuilding my self-esteem, one bloggie at a time.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Best of the Best

Take a look above.
Go ahead; I swear I won't pants you.

You see it up there? New link: "The UnKosher Best."
A pictorial list of my favorite blog entries, for your viewing/reading pleasure, and my ego.

Here's some interesting thoughts I had on writing recently, which came to me after reading George Orwell's "Why I Write":
"When you realize you are writer (notice I say "are," not "want to be"...since it's more like you realize you "have to be"), someone should warn you that you'll be spending your entire life trying to prove to yourself that you are.

However, that is not to say you're not a writer unless there is a constant inner struggle of self-worth. I believe that it is the shared, accounted act of achieving the knowledge that your talent, and worth, is innate - a journey most of us already endure - that defines a writer's life. A life that is ruled by inner conflicts between the ego and the true self; or truth, in itself, which all writers continually seek."
Well, do you agree or no? What are your own thoughts on being a writer?

Okay, NOW I'm gonna pants you.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Blog Swap Post

I won't pretend to hide my enthusiasm in introducing you to my 1st ever guest blogger (all thanks to the clever guys at 20Sb) - so don't rain on my parade! It's not every day you get some excitement round these parts.

However, his introduction is largely superior to anything I could write (not to mention, succinct, which is a word I'm not terribly familiar with), so I shall not taint this entry further-
In the Year 2011: A Blog Swap Post
Hi, my name's Ryan. I'm not the enormously talented person you're used to reading over here, in case you hadn't gathered. Tara and I are participating in a blog swap, which means that for today I'm posting on her blog and she's posting on my blog. Nice to meet you.

We were told to write about something we planned on doing in 2011 that we've been putting off for far too long. My initial reaction to the assignment was “shoot, I don't really have anything like that.” Tara and I planned to chat sometime about writing about something else, but (as of this writing) that never really happened as both of us tend to be pretty busy people. So it happened that as I was riding back to Portland with my girlfriend that I realized “oh shoot, today's the 20th. Guess I'm writing about that first topic...”

Fortunately I only thought I had it more or less together. Turned out that I had a few projects waiting in the back of my head for just such an occasion. The ones that sprung on me as I watched the landscapes turn to cityscapes were my handful of unfinished novels. It's been my ambition since I was old enough to read to write a book and have it published. To be an author and to be read. I was a class clown, so of course this was a natural impulse, an extension of my “look at me” attitude. Somehow though, I've not yet realized that ambition.

My mental block tends to go a little like this:

“I should publish a novel.”

“Yeah! You should! Let's get going!”

Lots of writing ensues, and then, if I'm lucky:

“Alright, there's a first draft. Let's let it sit for a bit before I start editing.”

Time passes. Then the manuscript is picked up again and:

“Ew! Wow, did I really write that? I don't think I can even look at this anymore. Maybe I should rewrite it...”

But the rewrite never happens. Nor do edits. Instead the novel sits half-finished, rotting on the shelf until it's more or less forgotten while I go about my life. Then the cycle starts over again.

So I think in 2011 I'm going to try to break that cycle. I have a quirky little novel that I wrote mostly for fun, but partly to annoy, and I'm hoping... no, going... to edit it and have it ready for publishing of some sort by the end of 2011.

I'm gonna' do it this time. Really, guys.

Really.

Friday, December 17, 2010

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: High School Blogging

I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret this in the morning, so let's do this fast before I regain my "what the hell are you doing‽" response system.

Oh yes; it's time for-
∆ FLASHBACK FRIDAY ∆

Once upon a time in high school, I kept a LiveJournal. For the sake of my reputation (as if it could be any worse than the one I have now), I will not be disclosing the name of it so that all you snoopers can just laugh in the face of my fragile seventeen year old self. That's my job!

Back in 2004 (a staggering SEVEN years ago; this is why flashbacks are so saddening. Not because of the memories of then. But of remembering you are old), computers were all the rage. I don't know if some of you tots were old enough to remember, but things called Facebook, MySpace, smart phones and yes, even iPods didn't yet exist in popular culture. You know what did?

Napster.
Palm Pilots.
AOL Instant Messenger.
 ...and LiveJournal. Everyone was doing it. My friends convinced me to get one, and it seemed a perfect fit as I was a writer and liked to whine. What could be better than doing it publicly?

I always scoff at bloggers nowadays who write as if they are giddy little teenagers (most of whom ARE still teenagers), abusing emoticons and cheesy internet slang that sounds straight out of a sitcom. However, today I re-read my old entries and realized I did the exact. same. thing.


I suppose we all feel that way about our teenage days, but we'll just have to live with it until we get old enough for our brains to deteriorate and pruning away at our memories in order to salvage what's left of our normal autonomous functioning.

With that, I give you the one entry I was not ashamed least afraid to share:
Will it snow? Or won't it? Feb. 5th, 2004 at 9:12 PM
I dont really know-the meteorologists change their minds very frequently. it confuses me. so ill just let mother nature do its little thang and see what happens..

so it turns out this mentorship thing is really cool. i get to go to jerseywood productions studio in highlands and learn about the film industry etc. maybe kevin smith will stop by one day. im hoping ^.^

PLUS i get to miss a half a day of school, which is always rather delicious. :P and this weekend i get to take driving lessons that i dont need since im 18, but my mom is making me pay for anyway. which isnt so delicious. but hey, you know what, this week wasnt all THAT bad.

now watch, i bet i just jynxed myself. -_-

i've actually been very void of sleep lately, and ive been conking out at any possible free time during the day. this often includes bus rides, viewings of Hitchcock's WEIRD ass movie "vertigo," (compliments of film appreciation/electronic field production class-and yes i know, the two class titles really have NOTHING to do with one another...-_-) and 1st period, advd. bio.

you know i was looking through the book the other night in a sleepy stupor, when i came across ACTUAL photos of a human cadaver, cut up like it was some kind of a lab frog. it was seriously freaky. ive never seen a person CUT OPEN before, and i certainly had no desire to. needless to say, i was a little weirded out by the images....though the guy closely resembled a squid i dissected in 7th grade. i guess what they say is true; it doesnt matter how different earth's creatures appear...in the inside we're just all the same ...... =)

wellllll enough about dead bodies.... ^.^ (what dead bodies :P)tomorrow is FRIDAY thank god. i get to work and maybe sleep if im lucky. im hoping that this month goes quickly....really quickly.....like super quickly..because im not partial to winter. and ive got senioritis. bad.

so adieu all. (or, however many ppl have actually decided to waste their time reading this....)and post ppl. because you might as well after getting this far. and i love getting mail!!!! ^_^

    •    Mood:  sleepy
    •    Music: The Film~ " Girl With a Pearl Earring" and Dido-White Flag
If this were a room, I would leave it to avoid the embarrassment that would most surely come from looking you in the face after reading this. A sensible person who eventually wants to to be taken seriously in the adult world would probably have chosen to purge their old blog accounts before they came back to bite. But I have sealed my fate by publishing this; and since you are in fact continuing to read my rant on the internet right now, it seems I still haven't learned my lesson.

One more flashback for you before I forget this ever happened. Even more embarrassing perhaps than my ramblings above - I give you, my bedroom (aka crime scene) circa 2004:

There's not really much to explain about his photo; I feel it already says everything about my adolescence that needs to be said: Pure Chaos.
I've created a key below for the items of most interest. Signs of the times, and of my scattered brain.
A. These boxes are from Avon. I thought they would work as a makeshift table. Silly Tara. Did you know I was an Avon lady? Probably not, as I bought more than I sold.

B. Awesome bubble lamp that changed colors, and broke soon after I got it. It was in my room until just this passed Thanksgiving, growing algae.

C. Ah, my iRiver mp3 player - only held 7 songs, but had a microphone!

D. My Staples laminated Final Fantasy VII collage of Yuffie and Vincent. I didn't even like FF. Yet, I still insisted on being a fucking nerd.

E. Among the items on my bureau: Izone camera film, a lip gloss set, my Kickboxing arm rope (TOUGH) and a tube of M&Ms that was most likely not filled with M&Ms, but that I kept regardless.
And somehow I still wonder why my teenage years were so damn stressful, after apparently having to climb a mountain of clothing just to get to bed.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fun With Organs...Though Not the Ones You Think

I know how much all of you are just dying to know what the silence these past few months has been about (isn't it funny how I just materialize an audience out of nowhere?). However, I enjoy teasing too much to give it all away so soon.

Instead, I'll play a little game: I give you a clue, and you see if you can't figure it out before I decide to share (ie, procrastinate, file my nails, worry about what the hell I'm going to write next.) I fear that building this up too much might result in a huge let down, but then I guess that's your problem isn't it? I'm just going to keep thinking that for my own peace of mind. Kthanks.

My sister, Ceri, has inspired me to go back to my artful origins (yes, it's true; once upon a time I drew), and create my own comic of injury  - though, slightly more "cerebral." (It's a joke that will pay off later, I promise.)

My therapist brought up a great juxtaposition of emotional and physical conditions that I thought would be perfect fodder for a comic that took all of my recent bad luck and packaged it up into a neat little bow of witty self-discovery.

*NOTE: I bet I know what you're thinking: "Therapist‽ Um, yeah, I'll see you later" ::runs away:: If not, kudos to you, because you're open-minded and not an asshole. If you do happen to be rolling your eyes and starting to lose your credibility in this blogger persona I have so artfully created for myself, then I probably don't like you, so I don't care. HOWEVER, consider that my therapist is the mechanism by which the things I should be discussing with myself are reflected back at me in a way that is both enlightening and a slap in the face. Much like broccoli, you really should try it sometime. It's a good source of nutrition.

Here's a review of the players, introduced by their medical definitions, which will be useful in interpreting what the hell I'm trying to say:
  • Hippocampus: An area buried deep in the forebrain that helps regulate emotion and memory.
  • Amygdala: A small oval structure in the temporal lobe of the brain that is closely connected to the hippocampus and plays a role in the sense of smell, motivation, and emotional behavior. 
  • Cerebral Cortex:  The cerebral cortex is responsible for the processes of thought, perception and memory and serves as the seat of logic and problem solving (among other functions). It is not formed until later in adolescence.
(Thanks Med Terms)
*My appendix either look like a muppet, or a really dinky representation of male genitalia. But we are talking about organs here, so it's all good.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Insult to Injury

I'll be the first to admit that when I blog about my family, it's usually tinged with sarcasm. How awful you must think me to be. Don't I think of my poor mother‽

Of course I do. Where do you think the sarcasm comes from?

In our home, sarcasm was the #1 coping mechanism. Our family has been through some unusual unpleasant experiences; however, nothing that can't be cured by good ol' sardonic aplomb. Give us a glass half-empty, and we'll see it as such; and then we'll fill it with beer and suck it down. Cause we figure you might as well drink it up, and toast to the irony.

And while my mom was the first to point out the facts in my blog about family car woes, she did it with the hilariously flippant cynicism of a champ. You see, I learn from the best. That said, it's not surprising that I write to express myself (and that my early dream was, in fact, to become a comedian.)

My siblings are no different. Creativity by way of self-deprecation is the way to go. Our work is almost always reflexive.

Another fun fact about my family: we are accident prone. This is most definitely a Stromberg trait. I could go on and on about this one, but I'll save it for another day. For now, I'd like to use it in context with my recent situation...

As I was [finally] leaving the hospital a few weeks ago (I know, the suspense must be killing you by now - explanations to come later), my sister, Ceri, was on her way to a hospital, via ambulance. This is her first year at Savannah College of Art and Design. I suppose that the only way to celebrate this wonderful opportunity was to do so in the Stromberg tradition: accidental, self-inflicted injury.

It was a deep cut, but only to her finger. Conveniently enough it was during an attempt to cut a bagel.  All she was trying to do was eat. By 4am she was glued up and sent back to school with another scar to add to her collection. The perfect college initiation, by way of bagel. (Jewish joke anyone? Anny-body?....)

The most amusing part about this story is that it was in no way surprising to the family. Upsetting? Yes. Stressful? Most definitely. Inevitable? Of course; and thus, pretty hilarious.

Now, before you decide I'm quite possibly the worst sister in the world, I must remind you of the nature of my family. Instead of being bitter, Ceri takes it all in stride, by using her injuries to fuel her creative musings. It's a running gag that both she and my father (most likely the giver of the accident gene) have racked up a long line of ridiculous impairments. And since she has an artistic gift, Ceri decides to document them:


Since then, there has also been the Bagel incident, as well as the Bowl incident, which occurred when a glass bowl exploded over an open flame in Home Ec, sending shatters of glass into her arm. Ironically, the scars look suspiciously like the result of some retardly botched suicide attempt.

This constant barrage of bad luck, though it sucks terribly at the time, is just another Stromberg oddity. We're so used to it by now that it's almost a given that something will almost always go wrong when you least expect it. And, conversely, something incredibly right must follow. This irony is reflected in much of my writing - it's at once a curse and a blessing; the mark of my namesake.

The fact that my sister is also using it to her artistic advantage, is deserving of applause. I believe her most recent work says it best:


Check out Ceri's other works below. (And please buy her merchandise to fund her future hospital bills):

    Friday, April 23, 2010

    FLASHBACK FRIDAY: "Unkosher", the Trailer

    Well....2006 is not that far back of a "flashback", so I may be cheating here a little. But I certainly have grown over the past 4 years, so I deem it fair.

    Here it is, a trailer based on the self-documentary, the catalyst from which this very blog was formed....
    "UnKosher," 2006
    Director, Writer & Editor
    Documentary, NYU Undergraduate Film



    *This has also just been updated on my website, along with all my other film works. So, you know, if you want to continue to hear me toot my own horn, be my guest.

    Wednesday, March 10, 2010

    You say tomato, I say....PICKLES!

    I'm beginning to notice lately that I'm not like the others. You know...like normal blogging-folk. But, granted, I'm not your normal 24 year old. Sometimes I wonder if this detracts from readers who are seeking the usual fare: those who share their American Idol faves, their daily dieting woes, or pics of cool shoes they wish they had. Some write about their political opinions, or share interesting facts about technology. Or cupcakes.

    I don't watch enough TV. I like eating. And I hate politics. I'm pretty meh about cupcakes. (But I do love pickles.)

    I mostly write about cleaning out drains. And whine. And assume that people enjoy learning about the not-so-crazy escapades of my weekend.

    At first I worried about this......Ok, I still worry about this. But I can't help that I don't easily fit into a mold. It's like trying to stick a star through a square. Too many pointy parts.

    Here are some topics that seem to set me apart from the usual blogging fare:

    Like, Totally My Fave Things <3
    My childhood consisted of me teetering between being a tomboy and a girlie-girl. Well, let me rephrase that....between wanting to be a tomboy, but actually being a girl. In the end, I realized that me not liking normal girlie things was just the simple fact that I was a little bit odd. Unique, is what I prefer to call it. (But we don't know this word when we're 6.)

    Here are a list of my all-time favorite things, from childhood to present, to give you an idea of the inner turmoil I endured between normality and oddity, and why I might not be an average 20-something blogger...

    Fave Toys
    • Barbies & Mutant Ninja Turtles
    • Polly Pockets & Micro Machines
    • Disney Play Peoples, and putting live ants into potentially dangerous situations
    Fave Movies
    • I was obsessed with Star Wars....(I had a crush on Luke Skywalker. I wished I was Princess Leia. I had a subscription to Star Wars Insider. You can kiss my ass.)
    • I was obsessed with The Little Mermaid (there was a giant Ariel painted on my wall. Top that.)
    Fave Books
    • "The Babysitter's Club" & Chuck Palahniuk
    • "The Boxcar Children" & JD Salinger
    • A book featuring different shaped milk splats. For reals.
    Fave Activity
    • Softball.....though I was deathly afraid of the ball.
    • Not bike riding.....didn't learn that till I was 13.
    • Playing house.....though for some reason I was always the dad.
    Fave Food
    • Bacon (no more than 15 pieces)
    • Pickles (in a bowl)
    • Whipped Cream (also in a bowl, eaten after pickles)
    My god, no wonder I turned out the way I did. (And thus, the blog audience dwindles...)

    Fashion Smashion
    I was not always into what I wore; my mother chose my clothes up until elementary school. I had some faves:
    • Black & White patterned culottes (short skirt with black spandex shorts underneath - so early 90s!)
    • Yellow plaid wool-looking shirt (I wore this every freaking day in 5th grade. The only time I will ever wear a plaid shirt, again, due to the recent mass influx of plaid wearing hipsters.)
    • Culotte Dress (look to the right...stripes AND polka dots!)
    When I got to middle school, I realized that I could buy my own clothes. My idea of rebellion was buying hordes of G+G apparel, such as a platinum silver t-shirt that said "What If?" in chunky lettering. (It's like "As If?," only more existential!) Looking back, I suppose that in itself was my punishment.

    In high school, the mantra was always "I must I must I must increase my bust." I hadn't really grown them yet. Too bad my face hadn't grown in yet either. But I did have lots of leg. To hell with the index finger rule!

    It wasn't until college that I began to realize the importance of wearing something that not only made you feel good, but didn't try to compensate for anything. (Here in NY, everyone looks fabulous. You don't want to fall behind, or make apparent the fact that you're from New Jersey.) But here's where I probably differ from the status quo folks...

    Don't get me wrong,
    I love shopping. I am impulsive, and addicted to buying things that will fill the gaping emptiness inside my soul; at least temporarily. However, I'm not one to pounce on any new trend that the fashion industry tries to shove down my throat. Inspiration? Yes. Let me be inspired to buy something cheaper and more interesting than your boring, grey ensemble and the purse that looks like a metallic garbage bag. Let's face it, you're talking about a girl who wears lederhosen with blue, white and black striped stockings, which make my legs look like poisonous Amazonian snakes. I've got my own set of fashion rules.

    Yo, look me in the eye when I'm talkin' to you.
    1. Got a fancy-shmancy gathering? Finally nice outside? Need to dress to impress? No LBDs (Little Black Dresses) here. I always go with the LN2: "LittleNeonNumber".
    2. Brighter is better.
    3. No single article of my clothing is more than $25 (with the exception of shoes and dresses, which should be under $50.) If I don't spend that much on what I feed myself, then why the hell should I clothe myself in that kinda dough?
    4. You're only young once. Don't dress boring; there's tons of time to do that when you're old.
    5. Take advantage of thrifting.

    Fashion is a great way to be creative and be yourself. Not rape your wallet and turn you into an UGGs-wearing poster girl for a nation of fashion zombies.

    Rant ended. (This is the last time I blog about fashion. I promise.)

    Pop Culture
    I have a confession to make: I read Perez Hilton. I too am a sucker for cheap gossip about other people fucking up their lives. Yet, I think this is just a natural human tendency. Sort of like passing the car accident on the turnpike. You just can't look away.

    However, I don't often blog about pop culture. First of all, there are PLENTY of people doing that already. (Just google "Gaga"...I doubt you'll find any drooling babies.) I'm sure if you wanted to read those sorts of things, you would go to say, Mr. Hilton, instead of me. (Perhaps, most of you do, and right now I'm talking to absolutely no audience whatsoever.)

    I will say this: I've met Perez. He lived in a pig sty and almost slept through our JLo interview. And to top it off, he hardly acknowledged the crew. So much for being outspoken.

    If you ever meet me, I guarantee to talk your damn ears off.

    Monday, March 1, 2010

    Can It Be: Football Beats Puppets?

    So going through my blog list, I came across a post I never published. Mostly because it was never finished.

    Instead of beating myself over the head and throwing an inner tantrum about completely fucking up the timeline of my blog (where is your CONTROL Tara! This blog is now RUINED!), I will do what my therapist suggests and let it go. And also post it. Without blaming myself. It's just a blog dammit!

    From Feb 8, 2010
    It has been a year since my post about the last Super Bowl. Oh how time does fly.

    In Feb. of '09, we had all three of our favorite European gals with us: Agathe (France), Chloe (Scotland), and Rixa (Germany). But this weekend, only Chloe was there to stay on our couch, and she'll be gone after her Wednesday stand-up show at Sidewalk Cafe, leaving us Americans in the dust.

    I am hoping that we will see our foreign female friends come this May *if* Ryan and I can indeed take our trip to [said countries]! (Sorry, though, Scotland. We've left you out of the running in favor of Italy. I'm sure you understand.)

    But back to this weekend. In contrast to last year, February 2010 seems very uneventful. Perhaps I am exaggerating, since us New York kids are so spoiled with radical things to do at every moment. What, we can't take a weekend off? And still, there were some highlights this weekend worth mentioning, so don't mind if I do....

    FRIDAY PM
    Puppet Playlist Night @ the Tank, featuring "Country Music"
    Try, for a moment if you will, to picture yourself in an auditorium, listening to a hipster yokel stamping to the [only] beat, and singing like Clooney in "O Brother Where Art Thou?", then switching immediately to a crazy-eyed animatronic puppet staring soullessly into the audience as she sings about perfume made from broccoli. Then the lights go down and her head twitches with an electronic jerk, like a terminator robot. Scared? Upset? Bleeding from your ears? As you should be.

    SATURDAY
    This has since been lost from my memory. Those of you with better brain power can help me out on this one.

    SUNDAY
    Super Bowl @ Brian's.....again!
    This year we actually WATCHED the game (it was fucking boring.) However, it was much more rewarding than watching puppets. Joy made some great pulpy, fruity drinks that completely masked the fact that we were actually getting drunk off tequila. I ate some McDonald's while everyone settled for soggy Blockheads, and..........

    ...Yeah, like hell I remember the rest. I keep telling myself that if it were important and exciting I would be able to recall it, but I think it's just an excuse for me getting to be old and senile at 24. What was I talking about again?

    Thursday, February 25, 2010

    Trip Down Memory Lane

    Excerpt from my travel blog
    The Country Bandit.....


    This blog is really a personal journey, if anything: remembering the good, the bad & the ugly of all the places I've been and the people I've met....and some I wish to forget.

    Nevertheless, there's something therapeutic about digging deep into the past and reliving moments; whether it's through photos, mementos, or letters. I have a habit of not only saving everything and anything - from grocery lists to childhood drawings to letters from friends - but also, of taking them out from their dusty closet boxes to reminisce whenever I feel the urge to remember a past that I have outgrown, yet possibly never let go of.

    Maybe this will be my way of letting go. Or perhaps, it is just another exploration as I venture into the future.

    And, if by some slim chance you choose to accompany me on this lampoon journey, just remember: you asked for it.

    Below is merely a glimpse of what I've kept hidden away after
    all these years. Don't know how old I was when I made these, but I must have been young. When I was a kid, I was lucky enough to have been able to take a bunch of trips, mostly with my Aunt Diane and Uncle John.

    One day, enamored with my travel achievements, I began to make "luggage stickers" of all the places I had visited....some more than once. If only I knew how many places I was yet to see.....


    My Uncle Jerry (also my godfather) and Aunt Debbie lived here for many years. He worked for Kodak.

    ....it was always my fave, and probably always will be. Grandma lived in Brooklyn until she moved to....

    ..."Stinky" Staten Island. When I was younger, the garbage dump was still going strong....in odor.
    Philadelphia (yeah, yeah, I know it's spelled wrong above.) Philly is home to a Zoo, Sesame Place, great museums, and yummy cheese steaks.

    I've been to the Poconos so many times, I couldn't even keep track if I tried. Though I never went canoeing, I did go to Shenandoah's Water Park.

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