Confessions of a Fake-Food Porn Addict

Hi, my name is Tara.....
And I have a problem.
(Well, apart from my other problems, that is....)

I have an unhealthy obsession with fake food. Not the kind that's mass produced by an evil corporation and contributing to the nation's obesity. Not real fake food. But the inedible kind.

There are many odd obsessions in my life:

• The smell of old books
• Items that are filled with water (like snowglobes, sicko)
• Things that are tiny.
• Things that are fake food. 
• Things that are tiny and also happen to be fake food.

These last two take the cake (pun TOTALLY INTENDED! Hah!) And when I tell you they're an obsession, I mean that whenever I see a stack of pancakes with a smiley face I respond much like I'm falling in love. Drool and all.

To give you an idea of the level of my infatuation with all things appearing edible, I went to Ikea a few months ago to carry out my adult duties of purchasing housewares. And this I did; except, in addition to my new window trimmings and bookshelf, I also left with these:

Look at the wittle snausages!!!!

Plush Swedish Smorgasbord. Also know as Children's Stuffed Toys.
I was this close to buying the fruit basket hat.

And, in a twisted mingling of childish and attempts-at-adulthood, these are now sitting on my kitchen table, as if ready to be feasted upon. Needless to say, my boyfriend is not amused.

I wanted to share these foodie feelings so that I could prove I am not alone in my pining. I recently found that my previous obsession with old, abandoned locations actually has a label: it's ruin porn. (Hipstercrite says so, and that's good enough for me.) So naturally, I had to assign a label for this obsession in hopes of at least slightly normalizing this very odd excitement towards fabric pizza.

Be forewarned: if you're like me, delving into the rest of this entry will soon lead you into a bottomless pit of food-crazed compulsion.

FOOD IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING

...or in this case, cats'.

This is so effing cute I think I'm gonna throw up.

POSH NOSH

Food as [somewhat functional] fashion.

The egg gown is my fave. That's what I'll most likely what I would wear to the Oscars.

(I'm not going to put the cupcake bra on here cause, contrary to the general populace, that video was slightly disturbing to me.)

DELICIOUS, PLUSH NUTRITIOUS

The ultimate cute factor in fake food: Softness and Smiles.

Oh my little bacon-and-eggies, I'll love you forever!

TINY RATIONS

Feed your little inner child.

I personally have an egg keeping my key ring sunny.

For Christmas, I got a lemon and a lime in a sidecar.

NOVEL NOURISHMENT

Everyday items that have been given the tasty treatment.

Lego my Eggo!

A cruel, cruel trick.

Helium for breakfast.

Why did I not have this as a child???

Please show your love for all things fake- food related and check out these links!

LINKS

• imsotiny.com
• Flickr Crocheted Food Stream
• http://www.sweet-meats.com/
• Flickr Felt Food Stream
• http://www.kidrobot.com/
• http://mypapercrane.com
• http://www.puchipetiteshop.com/
• If you find me this burger ring and/or necklace, I will be your slave.
• http://www.digitalcrushes.com/
• SouZou Creations (Etsy)
• It's the Small Things (Etsy)
• Shayaaron's Grocery Store (Etsy)
• EvaLauryn's Gifts (Etsy)
• http://www.fakefoodonline.com/ (Home of my Fave, "Spilled Food!)
• http://theminifoodblog.blogspot.com/

‽