Sunday, October 3, 2010

Back, with a Vengeance‽

I sit here on my couch this Sunday evening in a strange, dreamlike stupor, trying to salvage the day after a waking hour of 3pm, sipping groggily on flat Wild Cherry Pepsi. I believe it is time.

I'm finally going to say it, even though I hear my inner critic already chastising me for defying the unwritten "Blogger Code of Ethics." It cries, "No one wants to hear your sap story! Save it for your diary, Wendy whiner."

 To this I say "Fuck you," evil ego, and watch as it slinks away spinelessly into the dark recesses of my mind. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to, which includes admitting certain truths that I've been neglecting to face.

"It took awhile for me to allow myself to start writing again, because I was afraid."

There, I said it. And so far nothing has exploded or ended in an engulfment of flames. So I guess I'm safe........for now. I apologize if this doesn't seem a sufficiently exciting beginning to a blog entry - in time you will realize that the most recent turn of events have a somewhat cartoonish quality that will test your belief. In short, I can't make this shit up.

For those of you who need a visual aid in order to understand, this is a pretty accurate representation of what I've been dealing with over the past two months:

It is due to this rather unlucky and preposterous chain of events that I have made a few changes in the Unkosher world. However, only as far as my blog is concerned. What used to be "Goy Vey," a title which heralded my Woody Allen-esque views of life in lieu of my very non-Jewish heritage (clever as it was), has now been replaced with something less offensive, less religiously charged, and a lot more arrogant.

"Interrobang" is a word I always thought to be interesting. I remember it popping up in my Google web clips and thinking it was some nerd's idea of an apocalyptic grammar explosion. In a way, I guess it sort of is. The definition, as you can see on the sidebar to the right (for those of you who are too lazy for defines "Interrobang" as the combination of both question mark and exclamation point, used to express incredulity and disbelief......loudly.

This little punctuation mark, my friends, is the definition of my life.

To find out why, I invite you to continue reading, as more [incredulous] truths are revealed.

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