Showing posts with label drawing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drawing. Show all posts

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Road to Zortopia Continues....

I've mentioned before that sometimes, when I'm all alone and feeling the desperate need to reach out to the fuzzying images of my fleeting childhood, I google "Zorts."

Or "Zortian."
Or just "Zort."

It's my hope that somewhere in this world, there's another 10 year-old stuck in a 20-something body, still drawing those 3-legged aliens with uninhibited glee.

Recently, I've been quite lucky.

And I'm still on the hunt! So, what a surprise to find that not only has my 1st discovery (I like giving myself credit for this as a self-proclaimed "Zortianographer"), Joe Kuth, had given me a little shout-out on his Red Panda Comics blog.

AND, out of the countless Google images that are still, sadly, my own, there was another glimmer of hope: a delightful Zort tribute by DeviantArt-ist Mike Dugan.


I need to start googling more often.

And, now that the men have fully represented in the Zortian department, I ask: where my girls at???


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Zortians Are Coming....

Well this just makes my little heart go pitter-patter.

I got the urge today to once again Google the word "Zort" (surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, this is an ongoing hobby of mine), hoping in silent desperation that there was indeed another little nerd child out there who was as enthralled with the world of "Ed Emberley's Big Green Drawing" book as I, and was painstakingly uploading their myriad of childhood sketches of the little one-eyed darlings in hopes of reaching me on the other side of the interwebs - like a Google message in a bottle.

(For those of you not versed in the world of Zort, please refer to my previous zortian ramblings.)

The back cover of the best [drawing] book ever.
Usually, I have no such luck. I find only my own images, which tends to make me somewhat depressed about the state of my almost 25 year old life. However, today: breakthrough!

I am happy to say that after many years of looking, I have found another work of zortian perfection:

Courtesy of Joe Kuth @Red Panda Comics
This adorable piece of imagination is by fellow blogger, talented artist, and obviously awesome dude, Joe Kuth. I can't tell you how excited I was to find this. Actually, I'm telling you right now, though I shouldn't since it's slightly embarrassing: I may have peed a little.

The best part of this discovery is that I no longer have to hide my blushing face as I fawn over little green men with three legs - there are others out there who share in my appreciation of Ed Emberley and his wonderful world. (Read an interview with Kuth here; you'll see what I mean.)

BUT WAIT - (that's right, you know the rest....)

....MORE EXCITEMENT!
Joe, in part with his blog, has put together a tribute book to Mr. Ed Ember' himself, consisting of artwork drawn by other fans around the country!


Where the fuck was I when this was happening?!

Thankfully, my disappointment at not getting the chance to be included in this book was overshadowed by yet another amazing discovery (I'm running out of ways to emphasize my text):



Yes, it's true. There is a documentary. About Ed Emberley. Coming. Soon.

Does this mean that Zortians might make an appearance as well? Possibly even......animated?

Only time will tell......and I will await, ever anxiously....


Monday, December 6, 2010

In Which Some Cool Comics, the Black Swan & Matt Groening Serve As a Mirror Inward

I like to sometimes to write about my weekend activities, in case you think I don't get out enough. Rest assured, I do try to make the most out of my days off. At least the first day - then, as is the case with this Sunday, twelve hours are set aside for delicious sleep.

So whether you want to hear it or not (forget the fact that it's easy enough to click off this page), I will happily recall my weekend experiences, in a neat listed form:

Black Swan
I was anxious to see this, and that anxiety followed me throughout it's viewing and into my dreams. As with Aranovsky's film "Requiem for a Dream," I would impart the following advice to any 1st time viewer: prepare to be unnerved.

And I was. I won't go into too much detail because a.) I trust you aren't reading this blog for a movie review (and if you are, I apologize, though it's a very good idea, come to think of it....), and b.) giving it away would be awfully rude.


I will say this: Winona Ryder is exquisitely scary, the music of "Swan Lake" is as haunting as the jaunty hand-held choreography, and the entire experience of watching this movie will make make your insides feel as dark and hollow as the cheekbones of a ballerina.
Hence, good stuff.

Brooklyn Comics & Graphics Festival
Conveniently located down the street from our apartment, the festival proved to be the perfect way to spend our Saturday (and our money). Crowded, yes; but filled to the brim with some awesome comic artists, which I feel compelled to share with you all, as I spent the entirety of last night adding their blogs to my Google reader and subsequently goggling at their art. And, as a bonus, may I remind you that they are all lovely ladies, which gives this sort of lovely lady hope.



  • Junko Mizuno - bought a signed copy (!) of her first manga (now out of print), "Cinderella." Cute and deadly are the words that best describe her style.


  • Jennifer Tong - alas, I could not bring myself to shell out the $50 for her beautiful neon lemonade silkscreens, but luckily I was able to see all her fruitallucinations on her site. (Yeah, that's right, I shoved that pun right in your face.)




  • Marian Churchland - though she wasn't at the festival, I felt I had to bring her up in the company of my new fave female comickers. The main squeeze of Brandon Graham (also a great artist, and the brain behind "King City"), Marian lives in Canada and brings the cuteness as she she blogs about pie and jackets. I snagged a copy of "ELEPHANTMEN: Damaged Goods" last time I was at Bergen Street Comics. Good investment!
Fittingly, Marian's cover for Brandon's "King City."
  • Aidan Koch - I passed by her table quickly, trying to keep myself from nabbing a copy of "The Whale," in all its water-colored poetic glory. Later on I find out it was actually the artist herself sitting quietly there, trying to sell her first comic ever. Now I really wished I'd bought it.



  • Jungyeon Roh - again with the expensive silkscreens! So wonderful and yet so out of reach....I really wish she had been selling her book. I understand the reasoning for the price however; >sigh< if I only I were rich enough to buy art instead of getting angry at myself for not creating it.



    • Lisa Hanawalt - I can't take complete credit for this find; for Ryan, it was love at first sight with the "Hats" sketch. I soon followed after he brought home #1 and 2 of her "I Want You" series. Not many women can get away with psycho sexual animals and subtle fart jokes...but Lisa can.  

    Click to enlarge (believe me, it's worth it to see the Irritable Bowel Syndrome hat

    Matt Groening
    This is what really made the weekend - after 3 hours of festival goodness, Ryan and I make our way to the entrance. And who is standing at the Ad House Books booth, bag full of goodies, but the creator of "The Simpsons" himself, the first artist I ever learned the name of at the tender age of 7 - in short my hero - Matt Groening. Ryan urges me on, and I sheepishly creep up behind the unsuspecting victim guy and introduce myself. (Finally, knowing the real pronunciation of his name pays off!)

    As is the case with most celebrity/hero sightings, I babble on about loving his work and seem to forget my confidence. Out pours my undying devotion for "The Simpsons" over the course of my lifetime (which coincided with the shows existence as well.) He chuckled at the image of me with a Bart doll in the crib, and I thanked him for bringing years of humorous dinner time TV to my family.

    You'll be happy to know that Mr. Groening is a perfect gentleman and all-around nice guy, who seems genuinely pleased with meeting fans; and thank goodness, as dealing with a motor mouth like me can prove to be difficult. He even asked me what I did, after I professed that my love of film mainly stemmed from his Simpsons parodies. What proceeded was my usual explanation of "Well, I'm a producer...for test commercials, but that's not what I want to do.....I actually went to school for film directing and writing, and I also did animation, but I had to ultimately choose one, and I'm still paying it all off..." yada yada. The poor man.

    And then the most insightful thing came out of his mouth: "Well, what do you want to do?"

    Apart from being completely flabbergasted at his wanting to know in the first place, I also had to stop and think. Why would he ask me that question? And why was this happening today, of all days, at the comics festival of all places? Was there perhaps something serendipitous about this particular moment?

    All I can say is that ever since he asked me, I've been wondering about the same question myself.

    Thursday, November 11, 2010

    Once Upon An Appendectomy....

    Clouds tend to follow me.
    I'm sure it's obvious by now that I was in the hospital for appendicitis, but I doubt many of you know the wonderful story behind it. It's probably a little conceited of me to assume you'd want to read about my experiences before and after my surgery, given that it's such a personal story, and also that you probably don't give a crap.

    But whiners gonna whine, so you must accept that this blog entry will continue as thus.

    It seems fitting that I'm documenting my ailment once again, as my first blog entry after a long hiatus came about after a grueling wisdom tooth operation. I was bored, heavily drugged, and feeling like a depressed, chipmunk-cheeked coward. These are all perfect circumstances for writing. It seems that when I'm at my worst, my inspiration to write with anger and fervor are at their best - so when suddenly I found myself without an appendix, but with a catheter, I felt an instinctual need to rant my head off to the Goddess of Curmudgeons.

    Dear Una,

    (Not sure if reading your blog daily qualifies me to address you informally, so forgive me Mrs. LaMarche, if it does not....)

    I'm writing to you in hopes of being christened a curmudgeon; it's something I've been meaning to ask for a few weeks now, but I've been too much of a pussy to do it. (I'm cutting to the punch here; I can pretend I had "things to do", but I know myself better.) Let me first say that you are an inspiration to curmudgeon writers everywhere, and if I hadn't found your blog I might not have continued mine.

    My blog, Interrobang (formerly called "Goy Vey".....it's a long story) is a completely selfish personal account of things I like to whine about. Also, bittersweet nostalgia (mostly about childhood). And self-deprecation. So essentially, it's Freud's wet dream.

    However, I haven't written in awhile, as I often suffer from bouts of crippling writer's block. There are times when the self-deprecation doesn't even make it to the page, because of, well....me being so self-deprecating. And for awhile I was unsure if being a curmudgeon was something I deserved. But I think this quote pretty much sums me up:

    A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor.....
    Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology....Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor. (Jon Winokur, whoever the fuck that is)

    Sure, I've been known to start loud, obnoxious scenes to vent my anger; complain openly and adamantly about my life, even though it's incomparable to the rest of the world's woes; and my amount of negativity is seriously impressive, if not frightening. Whether I'm to be proud of this, I'm not sure. Sometimes it's just nice to have the knowledge during your monotonous commute that at any point your rage can be directed into a fistful of bitch out.

    At other times, this behavior seems more attributed to say, criminals, or schizophrenics.

    But, I can honestly say that at this point, I've racked up enough grievances to warrant my curmudgeon-dom. These passed two months have truly been filled with the stuff of curses:

    1. Tara has email hacked. By some asshole in Nigeria. Apparently I am in London, was robbed at gunpoint and need money to get back to the states. Since my life is on Gmail, this ultimately blows. It takes a week of troubleshooting and lengthy explanations to friends, family, coworkers and my gynecologist that I am safe in Brooklyn. Although London sounds preferable.

    2. Tara has credit card stolen. This happens 2 weeks after the hacking, yet is completely unrelated, and blows infinitely more. Some bitch in Brooklyn decided to go on a shopping spree at Burberry with card numbers that were most likely stolen by someone delivering me a burger. Bank freezes my account and the $1800 they stole until they verify that I'm not lying. I insist that I'm really more of a Kmart girl.

    3. Student Loans Increase. Rent Check Bounces. Sobbing, screaming phone calls are exhibited in the workplace as a result. Those around me shrink upon my presence to avoid evil eye.

    4. Tara has emergency appendectomy. I can only guess that the amount of stress and pure bloodcurdling anger at recent events was cause enough for my appendix to peace out. Three days of hospital hell later, I'm infected with a UTI. Six days later, I am sitting at home typing this with a catheter tube up my hoo-ha and a bagful of urine hanging from my leg. I have degenerated to an 80 year old.

    I'm hoping that, with your blessing (as you are indeed the queen of curmudgeons), I will break through the walls of writer's block and continue to share my rantings with all who will listen. But most importantly, I'll be giving myself a reason to express myself again. Perhaps being an anointed curmudgeon will light that fire under my ass and scare my critical ego into slinking away into obscurity. I know that writing this has already done wonders.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I need to empty my bag of pee.

    Yours truly,

    Tara
    So why expound further? Well, why not? I've been thinking about why so many unbelievably odd and inopportune experiences so often plague me. It's a dumb luck inherited from the Stromberg clan, the depths of a past which I have only begun to discover.

    OR...perhaps the universe just wanted to give me some great material to write with. If that's the case, then I better do so - don't look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say.

    Here are the cliff notes of that fateful day:
    • I eat tacos. Immense abdominal pains follow. I assume I have really indigestion.
    • After attempting to use the bathroom, I realize I can hardly walk. Okay...it must be really bad indigestion.
    • I frantically Google "appendicitis." I then fall asleep wondering if I'm going to die.
    • I wake up, thankfully. I must REALLY need to poop.
    • Stay home from work because....I need to take a dump? This is greatly embarrassing....So, I travel limp-like-a-hunchback-ready-to-hurl to the doctor in hopes of finding a better excuse for skipping work.
    • Doctor sends me to ER. I am seen at 5pm. I drink lots of iodine.
    • The cleaning lady walks in while they're doing my uterus scan. She refuses to leave until she takes out the garbage, which is right next to my straddled legs.
    • I get a CAT scan and some crazy drugs that make me feel warm and squishy inside.
    • While waiting in the aisle of the ER at 9pm, doctor greets me with an enthusiastic "You have appendicitis!"...........at least it wasn't diarrhea? 
    • I am introduced to 15 doctors, only 5 of which will actually be in the OR.
    • I use the anesthesiologist's iPhone to update my Facebook status per my imminent surgery (so cheeky, am I.)
    • They ask me what music I would like to doze off to as they fiddle around with my insides. I say, anything but Lady Gaga....
    • ......"Ra-ah-ah-ah"-CRAP!
    • Last thing I remember is funky smelling oxygen mask....

    I find it suiting that I should end this entry with a graphic interpretation (emphasis on "graphic") of how my surgery probably went down:
    Pretty symbolic if you ask me.

    Monday, November 8, 2010

    So About My Family [Briefly]....

    I spent the weekend before last in my hometown of New Jersey, for quality time with the aforementioned fam. It was dad's surprise 50th, so there was an immediacy to this visit (don't want you to think I'm going all soft.)

    Well really, I just needed a haircut, but the family was there, so I figured, what the hey - might as well kill two birds with one stone.

    Like most family functions, my father's thirteen Stromberg siblings and boyhood pals decided twas best to use this celebration to roast all 50 years of his wonderful memories. I was also chosen to write  a roast speech. When my Uncle Robby, the organizer of these shenanigans, first proposed this, it was September. By the time I arrived in October, I still had nothing written.

    Frantically nearing the hour of truth, after driving around crazily like a Jersey housewife on steroids, dragging my victims (er, guests) for the night, Josh and Cara, through confusing U-turns and overpriced Halloween stores with costumes like "Money Ho," "the Blow-Me Breathalizer" and "Testey Tea Bags" (we're really not trying to overcome stereotypes in Jersey, it seems), I finally came to a realization:

    I needed to write this freakin' speech.
    (Even if my audience would be mostly intoxicated by then.)

    So I did what any normal twenty-something would do in this situation - I winged it improvised. Using a previous blog entry, and sketches drawn by my sister, I put together what I thought was a lovely summary of dad's life.........of pain.


    Surprisingly, for such little preparation it drew quite a bit of laughs (story of my life.) And coming from the Strombergs and one Joshua Goolsby ("sarcasm extraordinaire"), this is saying a lot.


    After a lovely experience of living at home again for two days amongst the Strombergians, I've realized that I haven't described my incredibly unique family members to all of the folks out there who probably don't give a damn. Why goodness, in order to understand the Strombergs, you must take a close look at the dynamics! We are a highly complex system, that has a massive weekly intake of 2% milk. And the best way to observe this rare species of American family at its peak of dysfunctionality is in their natural habitat.

    *DISCLAIMER: Since I know they're reading this right now, jaws agape at the sheer audacity of the use of "dysfunction" to describe them, please realize: there are no families that exist without dysfunction, at the risk of being incredibly boring.

    Mom
    Aside from inspiring my love of books, you may remember her from previous flashback entries concerning shitty cars. She was my first impromptu guest blogger....albeit without consent.

    Dad
    Alas, you've had your days in the spotlight already. As well as here.

    Nick, brother
    For his last birthday, I devoted a blog entry to my little brother, praising his eccentricity. That's enough, right?

    Ceri, sister
    Her psychologically-fused drawings of sarcasm have shown up in this entry, as well as my previous one highlighting our quirks of humor.

    [NOTE: I realize that this has turned into a "Greatest Hits" list rather than a for reals blog entry.........I got lazy.]

    Lili, sister, &; Lexy, dog
    There's a reason I've lumped these two together; obviously they're not equal on the totem pole of family hierarchy (one crawls on the floor for godsakes; although I guess you could argue that they both did at one time.)

    When Lili was born, I was 14 years old and Lexy was closing in on middle age. I acted as mommy and Lexy, well, acted like a dog, as expected, as well as her counterpart. She was there to guard against ghosts in the dark and provide entertainment for the new baby. (Their trust was tested when Lexy decided to leave a nervous trail of poop all over her room; there were a few months of uncertainty, but eventually the deed was forgotten, once the smell wore off.)

    Lili also provided her own entertainment, as she was the first to be caught on the family's new video camera. Even though she's grown to 10 years old now, I can still remember the cartoon-ish adventures of the two of them, which eventually inspired me to capture their sweet yet short adventure in baby/puppy-dom....

    Lexy, with her two quirky ears: one Collie, one Doberman.
    Lili, with her beloved stuffed pal, Fishy - a somewhat preschool Calvin and Hobbes, if you will.  

    (Fishy once braved an 8 floor plummet through an elevator shaft in my old NYU dorm. Somehow he fit perfectly lengthwise through when dropped; poor Lili proceeded to scream uncontrollably. Those in the elevator with us were quite unsure of what to do. Luckily, NYU was able to retrieve Fishy, showing how persistent a stuffed fish - and an NYU janitor for that matter - could be.)




    No matter how old they get - Lexy, with her arthritis and deaf ears; and Lili, with her Justin Bieber and Bratz dolls - I'll always choose to remember them this way.

    Monday, October 11, 2010

    Insult to Injury

    I'll be the first to admit that when I blog about my family, it's usually tinged with sarcasm. How awful you must think me to be. Don't I think of my poor mother‽

    Of course I do. Where do you think the sarcasm comes from?

    In our home, sarcasm was the #1 coping mechanism. Our family has been through some unusual unpleasant experiences; however, nothing that can't be cured by good ol' sardonic aplomb. Give us a glass half-empty, and we'll see it as such; and then we'll fill it with beer and suck it down. Cause we figure you might as well drink it up, and toast to the irony.

    And while my mom was the first to point out the facts in my blog about family car woes, she did it with the hilariously flippant cynicism of a champ. You see, I learn from the best. That said, it's not surprising that I write to express myself (and that my early dream was, in fact, to become a comedian.)

    My siblings are no different. Creativity by way of self-deprecation is the way to go. Our work is almost always reflexive.

    Another fun fact about my family: we are accident prone. This is most definitely a Stromberg trait. I could go on and on about this one, but I'll save it for another day. For now, I'd like to use it in context with my recent situation...

    As I was [finally] leaving the hospital a few weeks ago (I know, the suspense must be killing you by now - explanations to come later), my sister, Ceri, was on her way to a hospital, via ambulance. This is her first year at Savannah College of Art and Design. I suppose that the only way to celebrate this wonderful opportunity was to do so in the Stromberg tradition: accidental, self-inflicted injury.

    It was a deep cut, but only to her finger. Conveniently enough it was during an attempt to cut a bagel.  All she was trying to do was eat. By 4am she was glued up and sent back to school with another scar to add to her collection. The perfect college initiation, by way of bagel. (Jewish joke anyone? Anny-body?....)

    The most amusing part about this story is that it was in no way surprising to the family. Upsetting? Yes. Stressful? Most definitely. Inevitable? Of course; and thus, pretty hilarious.

    Now, before you decide I'm quite possibly the worst sister in the world, I must remind you of the nature of my family. Instead of being bitter, Ceri takes it all in stride, by using her injuries to fuel her creative musings. It's a running gag that both she and my father (most likely the giver of the accident gene) have racked up a long line of ridiculous impairments. And since she has an artistic gift, Ceri decides to document them:


    Since then, there has also been the Bagel incident, as well as the Bowl incident, which occurred when a glass bowl exploded over an open flame in Home Ec, sending shatters of glass into her arm. Ironically, the scars look suspiciously like the result of some retardly botched suicide attempt.

    This constant barrage of bad luck, though it sucks terribly at the time, is just another Stromberg oddity. We're so used to it by now that it's almost a given that something will almost always go wrong when you least expect it. And, conversely, something incredibly right must follow. This irony is reflected in much of my writing - it's at once a curse and a blessing; the mark of my namesake.

    The fact that my sister is also using it to her artistic advantage, is deserving of applause. I believe her most recent work says it best:


    Check out Ceri's other works below. (And please buy her merchandise to fund her future hospital bills):

      Friday, April 9, 2010

      FLASHBACK FRIDAY: More Zorts, Of Course

      Yes; it's time for more zorts.

      If zorts (or as they are more formally called, zortians) are unfamiliar to you, then please refer to my past bloggentry (it's got a nice ring to it no?) concerning the origin and fascination behind these green little rapscallions.

      I, unfortunately, cannot take all the credit for their whimsical creation (this entry is just so chock full of word goodies!). The talented Ed Emberley knew not what he created in these six-circled space creatures.

      I promised I would dig up some of my old zortian doodles for your viewing pleasure. They were my escape during boring schooldays; I would use them for math sheets, word quizzes, note-taking reminders, and as characters in school projects.

      Yes, I was a weirdo, but fuck you, zorts are awesome.

      That said, welcome to...

      THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF ZORTS

      Fashion
      Some early drawings of the zortian species. Like humans, they also enjoy being stylish. Apparently, wearing checkered clothing amongst sad Charlie Brown Xmas Trees is considered fashionable on Planet Zort.







      Transportation

      Wildlife

      A woofler (sort of like a horse) dog..seen here sniffing zits. Yes, you read right.



      The fwap...not as friendly as the woofler. Lets out a noise that sort of goes like this....

      "FWWAAAAP!" Thus, its name.


      Literature


      When I was a bit older, I was moved to write stories about the creatures, utilizing my exceptional compositional skills.

      At the beginning of the story, the Zorts meet a Rok, a most despicable creature that ironically becomes polite when you hit it with rocks. I wonder if this trick would work with New Yorkers.

      The tall creepy birds are Gleeks. Like all gleeks you know, they like to sing awful musical theater and sulk around all the other cool aliens.

      Further into the story, the zortians leave Planet Zort and encounter Planet Earth (of course) where they land on an island, enter a lighthouse and encounter a boy with a backwards cap. I've spared you the rest of the visuals. I'm sure you can imagine....


      Commercialism

      I was quite cheeky as a child. Not sure when I drew these, but   I thought myself pretty clever.

      Note my interpretation of early 90's GenEx fashion trends, and my bold, new ideas for selling toilet paper. Charmin, eat your heart out.


      Careers

      In middle school I continued to incorporate zortians into my life. This time, they helped me cope with the harsh transition from childhood to maturity. I wasn't about to give up without a fight. Years later, I'm still fightin'.

      When finished with vocab quizzes early I would doodle on the paper, hoping to give my teachers a bit of humor and a break from the shittiness of dealing with moody, hormonal teenagers. Zorts were able to take on a variety of roles....


      Technology


      My 8th grade self being transported to the Planet Zort....accidentally.

      Perhaps that's where I truly belong.

      Wednesday, April 7, 2010

      An Unscheduled Flashback. Deal.

      Sooooo, I haven't been writing very frequently these days. STFU, it happens.

      It's been absolutely crazy at work, then there was Easter in Ohio, and when I DID finally get a moment to myself, it either didn't last very long, or my brain could not scramble together coherent words worth writing down; it would have sounded something like Bill Cosby talking whilst fully submerged in Jell-O.

      That said, I've been unable to keep up with my Flashback Friday (I only lasted two weeks....this is not a surprise.) Each day I attempted to begin writing one to redeem myself, cleverly naming it with the use of the current day: Monday Memories.....Time Travel Tuesdays....

      But alas, shit happens. So screw alliteration. It's a fucking Wednesday and I'm gonna talk about my childhood.

      As you know, I love to reminisce, especially when I'm back in NJ, sifting through my treasure trove of junk, now piled carelessly in our attic after my room was taken over (thanks little sis!). This can also be described as my tendency to hoard massive amounts of childhood paraphernalia in an effort to cling to the past. Whichever romantic notion you prefer.

      I do not shy away from sharing the great colored pencil masterpieces of my imaginative youth. They are the gentle reminders of a simpler life, where diner place-mats served as canvases, and people were drawn with no necks. Every idea seemed like a good idea. Like the time I wrote the label of every room in marker next to the light switches: cause everyone needs to be reminded of what room they're standing in!

      Here a few gems I was able to dig up last weekend:

      "Tara's Different Kinds of Cats," My First Book
       I must have been at most 5 when I crafted this masterpiece. At least I hope so. I don't even know why I made this book about cats....I wasn't a big cat person. My guess is that I only knew about 2 kinds of dogs, but at least 5 different types of cats. They were also easier to draw.


      This was followed up by "The Parrot and a Computer on a Stick," inspired by some interesting pencil tops.

      "An Un-Ordinary Family," My First Script
      When I was about 7-9 (the years are blurred here), I came up with what I thought to be the most groundbreaking and fantastic idea for a play/movie ever imagined: a kooky family with an uncle named Popie and an aunt who hoards cat food, and their general crazy shenanigans (gee, wonder where I got that idea...) My cousins Beck and Missy were giddy with excitement at the prospect of acting this out. We often put together our own plays to perform in front of the family.

      This particular performance debuted at Missy's house alongside our other hit "Sometime's You're Gonna Get Hurt" (a musical, complete with a namesake theme song.) But "Unordinary" was different; this was gonna be big...like Hollywood big.


      I started the script and tried to put together a production in 3rd grade (see my above announcement that was taped to our classroom door). This plan eventually fell through, since attention spans at that age are slim. Apparently, I assumed that all scripts were just a continuous stream of consciousness that took up three columns to a page.



      "Return to Chewandswallow," One of My 1st Rip-Off Books
      I say one of my first rip offs because the first one I wrote was actually based on a Full House episode where D.J. befriends a horse. I was so proud of myself, I brought it to class to show off (man, I was such an egotistical little first grader). Then one girl, who probably meant no harm at all, pointed out that she had watched that Full House episode the previous night too. Bitch.

      Anywho, after my devout love of "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs," I decided that there should be a sequel. (They literally came out with one a few years later....but whatever.) The big deal here was that my mom taught me to sew the binding myself. I must have been tired after doing all that, which probably explains why the rest of the book was done so crappily. I prefer the laziness factor over the risk of being perceived as retarded.



      "Personality T-Shirt," Take This As You Will
      We had to make a t-shirt design that displayed our personality traits. Don't judge; it was 1996 for god sakes.

      Thursday, March 19, 2009

      Zortians! @=(:)

      Ever wonder where my crazy sounding AIM/Hotmail name (amongst others) comes from?

      Once upon a time, when I was a youngin', my neighbor, Sandy, bought me "Ed Emberley's Big Green Drawing Book," since whenever she saw me, I was always drawing. I had never heard of the illustrator, who used simple shapes to teach one how to draw just about anything.

      I flipped through the dragons, animals and other green things, until I reached the section on "Zortians." Zortians were really just a conglomeration of green circles in the shape of an alien, with three stick legs, a pig-like snout and seemingly one large eyeball. I was immediately hooked.

      Why do I draw funky green space creatures all the time as a signature? Is it "zort" (as in the Pinky exclamation) or "zortian" (like "martian")?

      I started drawing zortians (or "zorts" as I quickly shortened it to, after their home planet's namesake) on EVERYTHING. First it was mimicking Emberley's drawings. Then I started to imagine what a Zortian world would look like, and even came up with a story about visiting the planet "Zort" myself.

      When I started middle school, I would draw them during class, on tests and worksheets, as they took on human personalities by sarcastically mocking writing samples, pointing out math equations and rules, and generally keeping me occupied during lectures. One time I did get in trouble (History class...Ms. Barnard had no sense of humor), but for the most part they either went unnoticed or were gleefully encouraged by teachers who knew I was a [weirdly] imaginative girl who always did well, and just wanted to express herself.

      And that's what it really became for me: an expression of my moods, ideas and thoughts. Zorts were my alter-egos, springing to life in pencil on the page, and saying what most of the time, I was too afraid to say myself. Middle school was a shitty place, and as I retreated into my quiet world, I let them speak for me. To exhibit those things I so desperately wanted (and needed) to convey, in order to prove that even though I was labeled "sensitive" and "shy," there was a real Tara inside just waiting to burst out, with all the humor and zest of a cutely precocious little green alien.

      Why am I still using this simply, childhood drawing in my life today (at the old age of 23)?

      Zorts are a symbol to me, in a way, of my childhood, of my humor, and my ability to express myself. When I draw one, it's as if I'm saying, "This can only be from Tara." I'm sure many people draw or have drawn zorts before. It's a popular book, and I always worried that by using someone else's drawings, I wasn't being myself at all.

      But the important thing is that I have made them my own, bestowed a personality on these whimsical creatures that only I could have crafted. And now that I am older, I have learned that I can show my true colors to anyone.

      It's an ongoing process, and I'm not completely there yet. But these little guys only reinforce that growth, and stand as a reminder that I will always be unique in my own odd, alien little way.

      @=(:)
      (Emoticon zortian)
      [Stay tuned for more Zortian photos in the near future!]
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